As painful as it is for me to admit I'm coming to the conclusion that my acting and teaching (in the traditional sense of a classroom full of kids) days are over. The truth is that a year on from my brain injury it's clear that I can't deal with background noise or certain types of lighting (I think it's UV...?). I'm totally rubbish in crowds of people and have completely lost my self-confidence. I've done pretty well considering I wasn't really expected to survive, but finding your way with what is at best an invisible disability is very, very difficult. I've written a book and have a very cool publishing deal that I'm delighted about, but that industry gives little guarantee of decent income (Life, Death, T'ai Chi and Me would have to sell in the 1000s...who knows maybe it will...?) and being able to do incredible amounts of super-flexible martial arts and ride fiery young horses is great but offers precious little solace in terms of earning potential and self-worth. My Dad, who suffered a stroke in his 30s having been a professional footballer and England U23 cricketer and was left a paraplegic and used to say he felt like he'd been "chucked on the scrap heap" (imagine a dulcet northern accent!) and I have to say I really get what he meant now. I feel like I have so much to offer but that near-death-experience seems to put me at odds with society, I can't seem to get back into life. I feel stuck in a kind of monastic isolation. My brain injury has forced me to live a very strangely isolated life even though I'm with my incredible life-saver wife Faye all the time. It's pretty crap and totally unfair on her too. The stress never seems to stop for her and she of course carries the burden of having to earn all the money whilst I flail about like a fish out of water, trying my absolute hardest but seemingly failing repeatedly. We don't even qualify for any social security support as I'm so far away from what is classified as 'disabled' and yet here I am, stuck... This is probably an odd thing to blog about...Perhaps it's not a great advert, but it is the truth. However, I do have a great deal to give. I'm one of the few people in the western world who genuinely knows and practices ancient T'ai Chi Qigong. I can pass this on to you. And when you know it you have it for life and will be set to face anything. I'm a fighter and a survivor and I can really help you get out from whatever it is you're under. If I can come back to life from where I was, anyone can. I know how to meditate and can teach you the practical skills you need to lead a mindful life: so important these days. So there we are. That's the truth in a nutshell. If you'd like to learn more about what I teach, my personal training programmes or how we might work together, please do get in touch.
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